Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Take a Brow

It ain't always easy being a girl! One day you look in the mirror and notice your eyebrows are slowly taking over your face or maybe even meeting in the middle to form the dreaded unibrow. Okay, okay ... men have eyebrow issues, too, but somehow it seems that theirs build character ... you know, the bigger the better, size matters and all that good stuff. For women? Not so much.

For years I had dealt with mine on my own; that being said I know my limitations and knew I was doing an F- job. They would be too high, too low, uneven, too thick or too thin. I did manage to never completely zap one, though I am sure with my waxing and tweezing skills, and a little time, I could have easily done that! I threw up my flag of surrender and headed to a local salon that had come recommended (by someone whose eyebrows looked great!).

Without an appointment I fearlessly bolted through the door and made my way straight to the receptionist. Do you want a manicure? No. Do you want a pedicure? No. I mean, look at my face, right there above the ol' eyeballs. See that? Yep, it's a retirement community for a happy pair of caterpillars, and moving day is here. Time to thin down, shape up and ship out.

I was quickly taken to a back room, where another patron was already reclined back in her dentist-like chair wincing in discomfort. I thought about running for the nearest exit. It seemed like a doubly bad idea, and when I saw the vat of hot wax, I really began questioning the sanity of my decision. Hot wax on the face? Where did that idea originate? Who was the first person to say, "Hey, let me put hot wax on my face and see what happens!!" They had to be drinking. There is no other way.

Anyway, I managed to give in to my 10-second internal pep talk and throw myself into the chair. The good thing is that with a procedure like this, it's perfectly acceptable (and likely encouraged) to close your eyes. I did so without hesitation. Things were going pretty good; I was beaming with pride at how brave I was! I mean, what's a little brow pain when you've had two kids naturally, no luxurious epidurals? Things were wrapping up, then my tiny waxing technician dropped the big bomb on me by saying, "Would you like me to wax your mustache?" WHAT MUSTACHE? Enough was enough for the day. I had to go home and regroup, deal with the emotional trauma that not only did I have hairs plucked and waxed off my face, I also had a mustache.

Getting old and growing hairs in all the wrong places is not what I would call a fun time, but I think I've got a few more good until I get confused for a sasquatch.

That's all for today! Enjoy the day and kick some butt!


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I was reading on SCS & found your blog. Love it. Chuckled all the way through today's story. Looked for a way to get it in my email every day, but can't find a link. Anyway, you brightened my day.