Sure, me doing pretty much any kind of cooking would indeed be good kitchen entertainment, but this was this was the sort of fun that you can only get from some low-level stalking out your back window .... watching the neighbors put in a large above-ground pool and all the hi-jinx that ensue. Let me first tell you, these are the kind of people that not even Jeff Foxworthy would would be able to categorize (just what IS three steps below the famed Redneck?) or own up to. I thought about getting out the video camera because you just KNEW this was going to be Funniest Home Video material. Then I thought better of it because if something bad did happen, I didn't want my camera to become Exhibit D in the court case.
They started with the little motorized digger do-hickey thing at the CRACK OF DAWN (all right, so it was 9 a.m., I can't help it the day breaks a little later for me on a Saturday!). I doubted they'd get the pool in that day, or even by the end of the month, with the smoke breaks every 10 minutes. Their progress did surprise me, but what caught my attention was their kids' contribution to the project -- the dire need to chop down the NEIGHBORS' tree. Why you ask? Who knows. One guess is that the long-dead 30-foot tree of unknown origin was a threat to their pool, but more likely the kids had already blown up or set fire to their own toys (Happy Meal freebies included), and were BORED and looking for bigger and better game to hunt. I have to tell you I have never chopped down a tree, but I've seen it done quite a few times. I can say, without hesitation, that I have NEVER seen a tree chopped down with the primary tool of choice being a tire iron. Really, a TIRE IRON! Well, to be exact, a tire iron AND fire crackers. You read it here first, folks .... it can be done! Who woulda thought?
If you're wondering where the parents were during this, your guess is as good as mine, but I could have sworn I heard someone yell, "You 'kin do it, son.... keep at it!"
Either way it was an excuse to park my backside on the counter for a few hours, armed with Oreos Double Stuf and a diet Coke and enjoy the show from the privacy of my own home (and yes, the diet Coke DOES negate the calories of the cookies.... complicated scientific formula I'm sure you wouldn't understand so I'll save myself the keystrokes trying to explain it).
All right. Until I figure out how to get the clothes in the washer to sprout legs and climb into the dryer, I better get to it.