Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Rotten Eggs

Good morning (or afternoon, or evening!),

Today is my first day home alone after everyone is back to their "usual" schedules, and I'm not volunteering at the school. The day is mine! So far so good as far as getting things done goes, and it's just now 8 a.m. My original plan was going right back to bed after my daughter left at 7, but I fought that feeling. Between you and me, however, I am sure there's a nap in my future... my NEAR future!

As most of you probably know, there is a big salmonella scare related to eggs here in the U.S. As usual is the case with me, I will not pretend to understand it all, but since I've heard about it, I have had the WORST taste for eggs over easy (which is the WORST way to eat them naturally). Why is that always the case? I am pretty sure I even dreamed about dipping toast in a nice, fresh egg over easy. In fact if I still wasn't in my pajamas right now (meaning my ratty old sweats) I would be bookin' it to Cracker Barrel (how lucky am I to live FIVE MINUTES from one????).

Anyway, this egg thing led to a HUGE dilemma this morning... one like I had NEVER encountered before! Tragic, even! I was making a batch of Fiber One bran muffins (expensive, but worth it)... I eat one with a glass of Smart Balance milk each morning (don't give me too much credit on this one... it's my way of consoling myself that while I will most likely blow my diet the rest of the day, I had a GOOD breakfast, LOL). I was down to my last one, so time to make the muffins! All you need for the mix is vegetable oil, water and two eggs. Seemed harmless enough. I laid out my Transformer and SpongeBob muffin papers (OK, while I LOVE SpongeBob, the Transformer ones were nothing more than a value purchase at the party store) and began to mix. Lah dee dah, I'm mixing away. Then I start to spoon the mix into the muffin papers. My genetic makeup includes 25 percent Slob, which meant that the mix soon was all over my hands, the counter and since I was stirring it over a stack of cookie sheets, it was all over them, too (Martha Stewart would kick my butt to the curb in 5 seconds if we ever found ourselves in the kitchen together). Anyway, the logical thing to do would be to lick the mix off my fingers (and possibly the counter AND baking pans.... really!). Then it hit me like a Mack truck. I CAN'T! That's raw egg! I can't eat the batter! Stupid egg farmers! Thanks for ruining what could likely be the biggest culinary pleasure of my month! And I'm pretty sure I've used up what was left of my self-control for the week, too. On the upside, it's amazing how much bigger each muffin ended up without me eating the batter (I'm pretty sure this is one of those hidden diet sabotage things they talk about). The whole thing was very unnatural..... can you feel my pain??

Better get going. I need to freeze my muffins (LOL, that sounds kinda weird, doesn't it?). Have a great day!


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