Thursday, December 11, 2008

Shorter and Fatter

I've come to accept the fact that over the last few years I have gained weight. I am not happy about it of course, but I can't ignore it. What is really putting my undies in a twist is that apparently, at age 41, I have gotten shorter! I have always measured it at 5 ft. 9.5 inches. My paranoia over being tall began at age 16 when my friend JoAnne and I had gone to her beach club and met a couple of guys, one of whom remarked that I was the "tallest girl he had ever met." Sure, he was not very worldly at that point and likely went on to meet taller girls, but it was forever burned in my head at that point. While my mom shopped in the petite department, I was tall, and belonged nowhere near the land of the tiny. I hadn't seen myself as tall, but like many other things in my life, I accepted it and moved on... not even sure if it was a good thing or bad thing at that point (and I'm still not sure). Anyway, things have changed! I am now 5 ft. 8.5 inches tall. I've lost an inch, along with my identity! 

Let me explain. There is a (very evil) machine at my new workout place (at a local hospital, a perk of volunteering). It looks like a robot and when you step on it, it will tell you all kinds of information about your body -- height, weight, body fat and BMI. I know there are some freaks out there who could step off that machine totally happy with their numbers, but for the rest of us, there should be a Prozac dispenser affixed to drop out a couple of "happy pills" along with the bad news. And you know what the worst part is? It has the NERVE to give you a RECEIPT with all of that information on there! What, I'm going to start a scrapbook? Who invents these things?????

Funny thing... my first urge after getting the info about my fitness (or should I say fatness) was not to spend two hours sweating it off, but to go right down the hall to the cafeteria and drown my sorrows in french fries and hot chocolate (if you're thinking, 'THAT'S gross, I would never eat that together,' that simply means you haven't tried it). I thought it over, weighed the options (no pun intended... LOL), and grudgingly hit the butt shrinker (not sure what it's really called, probably something like the glute minimzer.... that just sounds SO impersonal!). For one day, at least, good triumphs over evil in my life. 

Maybe one day I'll even go back. This time I'll stay away from the Fatness Robot! :)



Patti said...

ROFL. As someone who just made the rounds of the doctors this week, I also found I had shrunk - heightwise that is. I always said I was not overly heavy but underly tall. Sounds good to me, anyway.

Love your writing style and your takes on real life.

Louise, that's me!! said...

Cripes how totally brave of you to even step on the thing to start with!
I too know the feeling of the "Tall Girl" tag only too well, while my short petite friends had no issues with boys I was always the tall funny one. The good thing is eventually those boys grow up and personality starts to play a more important role in their partner choosing criteria.

Stampin' the Good Life said...

Kudos to you for giving that robot a try! I'm afraid to even get NEAR one of those! My daughter was told a few months ago that she shrunk, too. We she was 5'7" and then we went off to Australia for a few weeks, and when she came back the nurse said she was 5'5". Go figure! We still think there was something wrong with the measuring stick that day...

thescrapmaster said...

LOL I can't believe it gives you a receipt! How annoying!!

Ok, how did you end up on a blogger group??? I love ya girl, but you are not posting paper crafts! :) LOL I guess I just overlooked your sidebar, but the groups are supposed to be paper crafts. I am not going to give you the boot, but I wouldn't be surprised if blogger group members aren't leaving a bunch of comments for ya since your not paper crafting on your blog.


thescrapmaster said...

Oh, And I need your address so I can send you your SU catalog :)

Just pop me an email
and I will ship out your catalog.


Jan said...

LOL. I think I would have kicked it! I know what you mean though, I have also put on a few pounds over the years and the fact that my hubby's new hobby is cooking doesn't help any! One of these days I will get up enough courage to actually weigh myself and do something about it, but for now I want to enjoy the holidays and forget all about it! LOL.

Dragana Skoro said...

Oh, you make me laugh... I can see myself joining you at that cafe.