Thursday, November 6, 2008

My Greatest Fear -- Lactose Intolerance

I'm obsessed with Dairy Queen Cookie Dough Blizzards. There, I said it. Right now I am fighting the urge to high tail it to DQ and indulge my urge, and somehow blogging about it seems a better option for my waistline. A closet full of elastic pants allows me to entertain my Blizzard fantasy on a regular basis, and still tell my friends, "I've been wearing the same pants for seven years." I should send a thank you note and box of chocolates to whoever invented elastic pants. Or elastic itself for that matter. (You know this information is on Wikipedia!)

That leads me to my biggest fear--developing lactose intolerance. No, not cancer, not diabetes, not heart disease. Lactose intolerance!!! I know pills exist to tame it's horrible effects, but what if the medicine didn't work on me, and my only choice was to abandon my obsession? I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about that, and even had a dream (nightmare) about it last night, following that pesky dream I have where I'm in high school and I can't remember my locker combination and Sister Kathryn is screaming at me in the hallway. I digress. Shouldn't Dairy Queen be investing millions to eradicate this terrible affliction? As a member of the Blizzard Fan Club (YES, there is a Blizzard Fan Club and YES, I am a member), I will make sure they are working hard to save mankind from potential disaster. Their livelihood does rely on cow juice, thus I am sure they have this well in check for their own selfish interests.

Laziness has a choke hold on me right now. Off to raid the leftover Halloween candy. 

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